I don't like liars.

Don't tell me you're going to meet the tab minimum with a big tip when the truth is: I'm going to make and alter your drink five times while you change your order around because you have a lack of communication skills and/or a crippling inability to make decisions. Tell me what you want! My job is to serve you! Help me help you! And then after I finally give you what you finally decide you want, you write a big fat "0" in the tip section of your check. Seriously? How's this for service? The next time a customer makes me jump through hoops because of their own failure to be human and then leaves me no tip, I'm going to cut them. Not cut them off, just cut them. And trust me, the law will be on my side with this one.