I am not an DJ.

If this dumb bitch doesn't stop asking me to play Mariah Carey's Heartbreaker I'm going to break something else, like her face. I am not a DJ. I am a bartender. I make drinks. See that shiny blinking appliance over there? That's a jukebox! It plays music. I make drinks. Music. Drinks. Music. Drinks. See the difference?

Comic Illustration by Liza Biggers.